Why me?

As I write this, a million thoughts are going through my head. Things are different now, aren’t they? I’m not different. I don’t think (looks around and thankfully sees no one). I’m still just Jade. I feared and worked so hard for this part of my career. Apprehensively, I put in the work behind closed doors as an artist while simultaneously, ironically dreading my own desires.

Being an artist is not difficult when you love what you do…. It’s publishing your art that is. By putting myself out there I do also invite criticism. However I’ve come to realize the criticism doesn’t matter. I’m juggling five bowling pins that are on fire (don’t worry, it’s intentional, I set them on fire for the show and the brand), that I auto heart comments now. I’ve probably auto hearted a hate comment that’s how fucking busy I am lately.

Anyway, let’s get to the meat of this post. Social anxiety! Accomplishing all my dreams but being myself!! Woo! Cruise! I’m sure you’ve seen all about it on my other 200 social media pages. Bare Necessities sponsored my recent trip to Mexico and Honduras. They enabled me to go on my first nude cruise aboard the newly refurbished Carnival Pride. I modeled for their website, brochure AND modeled as a muse for their photography classes. It was awesome, but it also put me face to face with my fears - the public. While on the ship we shot SO much and I felt like I did the best job I ever have during my long 16 year modeling career.

It was funny to self monitor in my interactions. I’m proud because me a year ago would’ve stayed locked in my room all week avoiding people. While there was some of that, because I’ll never stop being an introvert - I actually went out with the gang a few times! The other models were talented, beautiful AND very kind to me. It felt socially fulfilling to get invited and welcomed into the group right away. A few wonderful couples joined us too and by the funniest coincidence I met another Vixen’s girl on the team.

While I didn’t struggle connecting with the other models, I admittedly felt overwhelmed by all the photographers. It took some re focusing but I found my center in the madness. Having one to a few photographers is interesting, having a theater full of them is overwhelming. Fortunately they were professional and did a good job of directing me around each other.

I kept getting requests to do shoots outside of the class, but had to decline so I could carry out normal vacation tasks… like spending copious amounts of time in the dry sauna, hot tub, and steam room. They also gave me such positive feedback on my energy and look. I was told by a few photographers (like the other models I’m sure) that I was their favorite. On the actual day of the photoshoot I had a brief moment of elation. After snorkeling around for good underwater shots, the VP who invited me said he was very happy with the raw proofs. I try really hard to produce quality work, so hearing that feedback is validating.

Next on my agenda? Well back to LA for a little bit to film sometime this spring and then… we’ll see. 😆🤷🏽‍♀️Maybe this time I’ll keep things secret. To be fair I have A LOT on my plate right now. I have another photoshoot this weekend and next week. Requests have been ample but my spare hours are few. I won’t go into too much detail. Ya’ll know I just LOVE being unpredictable …. And cruise wise? Oh baby you know I’m gonna try to get a spot in the 2025 Bare Necessities AND Bliss Cruise brochures. 😜💚