The Evolution of Hookup Culture
It has been a real treat and trip exposing myself as an erotica author. By day my life is filled with the typical mundane adult activities such as cooking, hitting the gym for marathon training, wearing ugly sweats and working. By the time dark falls, I am a creature of the night who sports black leather boots, red lipstick and micro-shorts. Through the ups and downs of the past five years of my life writing I can’t help but make observations about the development of hookup culture. As many of you know, I’m a millennial, mainly writing about millennial and gen z things. I shudder to think about how unfortunate past generations’ were to only have a phone book and word of mouth to find a prospective partner. These days we can hook up all over the damn world and google prospective fuck toys. However it does remind me of how the evolution of it has both contributed to and negatively impacted peoples’ lives.
There are several downsides to dating apps and websites. Let’s start with the cons, as I’m a “bad news first” kind of girl. Unfortunately due to the explosion of Ass-Availability, a ratio measured by Prospective Partners/Population of Ass Bank, people have become more shallow. It makes sense, when one is swiping to get laid, there’s far less thought put into pursuing. Additionally catfishing has become an increasing and even threatening problem to those trying to have fun whilst playing the field. Even without catfish it is so easy to lie on these platforms. As a result of this, people are getting worse at sexual communication to the extent that Gen Z is more celibate than previous generations. Can we blame them? Well yes and no. On one hand, it makes sense that witnessing the uptick in STIs has made them far more cautious than previous generations. On the other, a higher risk leads to a higher reward. While sex is not required to find love, navigating the sharkish waters of 20 and 30 something dating can have mixed results. I personally have several friends in their early thirties who dated around before settling down with a valued and beloved spouse or life partner. However the downside is that if one wants to be romantically attached to someone else even celibate, there is still a risk of getting hurt emotionally. There always will be. Yes, the hookup culture being more fast-paced than ever intensifies that, but heartbreak has always been a factor in all dating/courting rituals.
Let’s move on to the good news. Never before now has it been so easy to get ass. I’m tempted to write a book of just DM’s from social media and dating sites, but I’m too respectful of peoples’ privacy to do that. One also reaps the reward of hilarious gossip among their social circles. As a pansexual woman writing about a pansexual woman, it’s common practice to talk shit on guys with the girls. Additionally, having a catalog of dudes and chicks to choose from is amazing. As a minority woman, you bet your ass when I was using dating sites I scrutinized the hell out of my sexual suitors. It had nothing to do with income or accomplishments, but it was directly about my comfort level and safety. I required video chats and if I returned to these apps I’d keep my golden standard. Another positive is that online and app dating has completely lost its stigma. One thing that dates Disorderly Conduct: College Edition from the beginning is its brief mention of Plenty of Fish, the old school Tinder. However back when our favorite little vixen, Arie, was online dating, times were different. Back then (the early 2010’s) those who did it were marked with a lack of social skills or simply unattractive. Now the opposite rings true and people flaunt their use of them.
What is the point of this blog post? The purpose is to remind everyone that no matter how you romantically or sexually pursue someone, there will always be some kind of risk whether it is physical or emotional. Stay adaptable and regardless of the crap you have to deal with keep optimistic. My conclusion is that everyone should follow three golden rules in the rouge-shaded environment. Do set boundaries, be honest with people you’re interested in and refuse to accept any disrespect regardless of who it is coming from. As we see more innovative ways for people to find love or sex hit the tech market, it’s important we prioritize ourselves above all. At the end of the day it doesn’t matter if you meet a cutie at work or through Bumble, because confident and healthy people don’t base their value off of who or how many people they can snag into the bedroom. Take your rejections in stride and appreciate the people who do earn your trust and intimacy.
